SalomeJustitia

Smooth.

Since I've known the results of this year's Ohio Star Ball for some time, simply repackaging it as "America's Ballroom Challenge" did not fool me into being surprised by Ben and Shalene's victory in the American Smooth division tonight.  However, I was pleasantly surpised by Tomas and JT, who made it into the top 6 and were a joy to watch, since they were obviously having the time of their lives.  When it comes to Standard and Smooth ballroom, there is often an odd contrast between the smoothness (hey, guess that's why they call it that, huh?) and the hard edges.  In Latin and Rhythm, I feel the sharpness of the movement, but that's not what I feel when watching Standard/Smooth - hard is the only word I can think of to describe it, or possibly, severe (I still love it; don't get me wrong!).  But it's funny, you don't see that in the very best (like Ben and Shalene, who are always so in sync and draw you right in with a light hand) or those not considered contenders for the top spot, like Tomas and JT.  I guess some of those hard edges - the stylized hands, the rigid posture - are what judges are looking for, but when I watched Tomas and JT on the floor, I felt less like I was watching a competition and more like I was watching two people just dancing.  It didn't win them the title, but I sure liked the feeling of it.  A couple to keep an eye on, for sure.  I also did enjoy their Showcase dance, to "Ramalama Bang Bang" by Roisin Murphy, one of my favorite artists.  For those SYTYCD fans, Tomas and JT definitely styled themselves in the same vein (Victorian zombie goth chic) but so interesting to watch it as a tango instead of a group contemporary/hip pop number.  Looking forward to next week and the American Rhythm competition (go Emmanuel and Joanna - can't wait to see if your showdance lives up to "Teach Me How to Shimmy" from last year!).

New direction.

So, it looks like I'm going to be needing a new title for my blog ...

After much soul-searching and discussion, I have made the decision to withdraw from law school and return to the working world - where, I'm not sure yet, but now is the time to move on.  I know!  I'm feeling a lot of things right now, but mostly excitement to start the next phase of my life.  In my heart, I have known for some time that I didn't actually want to be a lawyer.  But I have so many things I am passionate about, and now I need to figure out how to incorporate the things I truly love and am good at into my working life.  I knew that if I didn't go ahead and take this jump (with no safety net!) I would simply stay out of habit.  So big changes are afoot, and I'm sure I'll have plenty to say on the subject in the upcoming weeks.  As for now, my dancing is going to stay the same - maybe I'll even get to take a few more classes now that I have joined the ranks of the unemployed!

In the meantime, how about nominations for new blog titles?  I think I'd like to keep the Salome, but maybe incorporate a ballroom element.  SalomeSamba, in a nod to Tonya?  Or something with a Shimmy in it?  That covers bellydance and Latin - hmm, I like that a lot, maybe I'll run with that.  Who has ideas?

Bad feet.

There is a running joke between me and my parents that I got the worst qualities from both of them - Mom's allergies and prematurely grey hair; Pop's migraines and crooked teeth, etc.  Most of these I have fixed with hair dye, orthodontia, and pharmacuticals, but there is one inherited feature that I can do nothing about - my feet.  How frustrating when I've always loved dancing so much to have the infamous "bad feet."

I suppose I should be happy I'm here to have bad feet at all; after all, it was the flat-footedness I inherited that kept my father out of the military back in the day.  But I lived many years of my life with a woman with almost perfect feet.  My mother is very proud of her feet, and I do have to say (and occasionally she insists we all do) that they are beautiful, a model of what feet should be.  I've been with her on multiple occasions when total strangers come up to her to tell her what beautiful feet she has, and her wide array of sandals and perfect pedicures showcase them even more.  So I have a touch of a complex; I worship at the altar of perfect feet.

Not so much at the end of these here pins.  It's the arch that really creates a beautiful foot, and I have unfortunately weak arches.  Oh, I cover it up - years of training my feet in pointe shoes means I know how to point my foot to create the illusion of more arch, and the vertiginous heels I'm fond of wearing prevent my ankles from pronating when I walk.  But I know.  And I haven't done much to make them more attractive.  Take the bad feet base and layer on toes broken multiple times, callouses upon callouses, and ever since I started Latin dancing, consistently chipped pedicures (it's the dragging that does it!).  It all adds up to a bit of a mess.  But as my mother used to say, "you can't see the spots on a galloping horse."  So if I keep them moving fast enough, maybe you and I both won't notice their flaws, and only see the dancing.

Bright and early.

Everyone knows that I am not a morning person.  My internal clock would most enjoy going to bed at 3 am and waking up about 11 or 12, and if I were left to my own devices, such as being a hermit in a cave or something, this is what I would do.  However, the trappings of a life amongst society seem to get in the way, and so it is not to be.  I recently began taking my ballroom lessons in the morning, and to my shock I discovered that while I may not be a morning person, I am a morning dancer.  How wonderful to dance before the stress of the day gets in the way, to dance with a sleep-fed body and relaxed mind.  Sadly, law school has struck again and now I must edit law journal articles at that time and dance in the afternoons.  I'll miss you, morning dances ...

Speed.

Second choreography session with Tony tonight.  Again I am amazed at the ability of a professional to put something so good together in such a short amount of time.  We reached the end of the cha-cha section last time, and now have the remaining mambo section choreographed.  And I thought the cha-cha section was fast!  The stereo in the room we were in didn't have a speed feature, so I was trying to do everything full speed, which is how Tony wants it by the showcase, but something I've never even tried before.  If I can do it, it's going to be sweet-looking.  Wait, positive thoughts: I will do it, and it will be sweet.  I have to be nicer to myself because Michael has declared the dance studio a "no self-deprication zone."  Unfortunately, self-deprication is a huge part of my personality, and it's also often how I describe the issues I'm having with my dancing.  For instance, I'll say "I look like a gingerbread man" and then Michael gets that I'm obviously not gathering my feet and legs properly.  So I need to learn a new code.

My favorite moment tonight: when Tony started second-guessing himself a little bit and thought maybe something should be changed.  Then he and Michael marked it and Tony was like, "No, that's good.  Nope, I like that, too.  No, that's right," until he realized it was already perfect the way it was (I could have told him that - that's why he makes the big bucks, because he's good).

We also worked on one of my many issues: arms.  I've mentioned before how I don't know what to do with my arms (I'm still thinking so hard about my feet).  Well, it seems I've developed a bad habit of pulling them in close to my sides - not like an Irish step dancer or anything, but still.  I know exactly where it comes from; I don't want to wail Michael in the face, I'm afraid of making a mistake, and I'm doing it simply out of timidity and lack of confidence (which is funny, because Tony mentioned how he liked that I "just put everything out there," even though I feel so reserved).  But I've gotten so used to it that now sometimes my elbows and upper arms are even a little bit behind me, which makes it harder to catch switching connections, especially in the twisty-turny mambo.  Tony really stressed keeping my arms in front of me and keeping them stong.  Of course, then I went too far in the other direction and kept them in front and strong all the time, even when one was not the connection arm and should have been styling.  Sigh.  So glad the showcase got pushed back to May - I need the time!  And that's not self-deprication; that's reality.

Candles.

Guess what, readers?  I got a digital camera for my birthday, so once I figure out how to use it, there are going to be a lot more images on this blog; huzzah!  Got to break up that text!

Had a birthday ballroom lesson this morning, per my new schedule of taking lessons before I get all stressed out by law school classes for the day.  I was definitely more relaxed to start, but being in the studio in the morning is slightly (okay, very) intimidating because it is mostly professionals and coaches, not beginners with their teachers like me.  Last lesson before meeting with Tony again to finish the choreography next Monday night, and I'm spinning out of control - literally.  What happened?  I used to be able to turn and turn and turn no problem, and now I'm wobbling all over the place, losing my spot, and raising my elbow in a most unfortunate way.  Will be practicing with the good old faux partner - the wall - all this weekend, I'm sure (except for the 8 hour class I have on Sunday.  Yeah.).

Shift.

Change of plans.  Reyna was given two options for Rakkasah: dance on the cabaret stage with our own taped music, or the main stage with a live band.  The cabaret stage only holds five, and we know from Rakkasah East how hard it is for a troupe to dance with a live band, even if totally awesome, and especially for an extended troupe performance.  So Reyna chose to cancel the Rakkasah trip.  Disappointing, but also a relief, because it was going to be really hard to fit in all the rehearsals and a trip to California in the middle of the semester.  And we don't have to do the fundraiser in February, either, so pressure is officially off.  We're still planning a big show in NYC in the spring sometime, but we have a lot more time to work on the choreography (and maybe even get the Amani El Omr piece finished - fingers crossed!).

And, the ballroom showcase was moved back from mid-April to the first week of May.  Three extra weeks of rehearsal!  Huzzah!  I'm glad I don't have any finals this semester (I think; I'll find out for sure next week, I guess), because the show is the Monday after my last Friday of classes.  This means no procrastination - my final papers have to be in EARLY so I can relax and dance my best.

Relax seems to be the name of the game.  My mind is much more relaxed then it has been, as winter break has been blissful and grades were better than expected.  Getting my body to relax is a different story.  I'm definitely having more fun, since I'm not so down, but I want my body to be down, sending energy into the floor.  It appears I'm putting my feet down in the right place at the right time, but I'm staying so pulled up-up-up that I'm not sinking into my hip which finishes the movement and fills out the music.  So, something to work on.  Maybe I should download the Frankie Goes to Hollywood song onto my iPod and play it on a loop.

Agita.

So,  it's official.  I'm nervous about all the upcoming performances.  I've actually been having a hoot (thanks, Mom, for all the Midwesternisms) with the cha-cha lately.  Since I've been away from school I feel so much like myself again, and am remembering to have FUN, which surprise, surprise, makes me a better dancer.  I feel like it's starting to come together, and we've got down the first cha-cha part and marked the salsa break, which will be finalized next week.  BUT, that means back in front of Tony to finish the end choreography, so I know I'll lose all ability and fall over myself.  Still, fun, and I do have until April to finally do it up to full speed!

The bellydance choreography is not going quite as well.  The girls are all back save one, and the six of us going out to California have been chosen, as have the two dances we'll be doing.  The Amani El Omr veil piece is not going to be ready, which is heartbreaking because I love it and I thought I was fairly strong in it.  Instead we'll be doing a Zambra, which is exciting but nerve-wracking (though I do get to live out my flamenco fantasies) and the drum solo all the other girls know perfectly and I'm trying to learn via DVD - though the others are taking pity on me and helping me out after class.  I can pretend March is far away, but this airfare-raising student showcase in February is weighing on my mind.  All of the others performed in the big annual show last spring, and so have routines to do, but me?  Who knows?

In better news, still no soda has passed these lips, though I wanted one after class tonight!  Been allowing myself tea for a little caffeine kick, but yea! resolution kept.

Resolve.

As 2007 fast approaches, I look forward to the next twelve months in my dancing life.  My one true goal for this upcoming year is to stretch.  Stretch my body and stretch my mind.  Expand past the bonds that constrain me – stress, fear, insecurity, habit – and allow my dancing to grow.

What are New Year’s resolutions but desires to push yourself further than the year before?  In this next year, I resolve to feel boundless.  I resolve to stop saying I can’t and start saying I will, with practice and dedication.  I resolve to treat my body better and provide it with healthy fuel. I resolve to open myself to more varieties of dance to provide me with inspiration in my genres.  I resolve to be fearless and be willing to fall.  I resolve to let out the various parts of my personality.  I resolve to see the humor and fun in dance.

But what generalities!  In 2007 I will:

*  Perform in spaces bigger than my bedroom and in front of people besides the person in the mirror.  With my bellydance troupe I will be attending Rakkasah West, and I want to perform my best.  I want Reyna to trust that I will know the choreography down pat, perform it full-out, and be a positive reflection on her teaching skills.  I also don’t want to be put in the back, so really working it at class is necessary to demonstrate my “front line” potential!  This year I also want to get up the nerve to bellydance solo.  We’re doing a showcase to raise money for our trip, and I’d like to perform a short solo routine, hopefully giving me the courage to seek out solo performance opportunities over the course of the year.  I'll be performing Latin ballroom for the first time this year, as I’ve signed on to do the studio showcase in the early spring, and I’m not backing out!  I want to feel comfortable with my routine and start to develop some ease of Latin movement.  I want Tony to recognize his choreography and for Michael to not feel like my life raft, but like a dance partner. And for all of these performances, I want to have no concerns about inviting people I love to come and see.  I love to talk to those around me about my dancing, but I get nervous allowing them to see me dance.  I'd like for my performances this year to have those I love watching in the audience.

*  Increase my practice time.  Time is at a premium in my life, and dance classes are expensive.  Still, even if I can't increase my studio time, I'd like to increase my flexibility, including getting down into the splits again. This means taking the time to warm up and stretch at home every day.  I also want to feel no guilt about taking dance class when busy at school. Dancing is an important escape for me, and I need to acknowledge that I will be a better student when I am a more well-rounded person.  I'd also like to get over some of my fear of the unknown and take drop-in classes at studios around the city to challenge myself and make sure I'm not falling into any ruts or patterns.

*  Watch more dance.  I think looking back over this blog proves that when I witness a dance performance that moves me, I am inspired in my own efforts.  So I hope to see more dance performances, this year, especially performances outside of the genres I am usually attracted to.

*  Stay positive.  This is a two-pronged effort for me.  I'm glad I looked back over 2006 and accentuated the positive, because I have a tendency to get very down on myself and my abilities.  I want to learn to accept compliments and criticism equally, instead of always dismissing complimentary comments as "just being nice."  I want to take pride in my increase in skill, instead of always focusing on what is left to learn.  I want to have a healthy body image and not fret about not having the ideal body for whatever genre, which leads into letting all the old ballet hang-ups and negativity go and just moving on as a person meant to do a different type of dance.  Dancing is fun, and I want to have a lot of it this next year!

Reflect.

2006 has certainly been a turning point in my dance life.  It was the year I came back to dance again as an outlet and a passion.  In this year I advanced from beginning bellydancer to troupe member, and while I'm still "the new girl" and behind on some abilities, I think I have proven myself to my teacher and fellow dancers to be dedicated and desireous to keep learning and improving.  I've gotten a nice start on the zills and I think I look pretty good with a veil (although I have to hem my commercially-made ones - not made for shorties!).

In the latter part of this year I found a ballroom studio that suits me and pushes me to tap into a part of dancing and body movement very foreign to me (funny that the Western ballroom style feels more foreign than the Middle Eastern movement).  I was frustrated today (as always, my comprehension is doing laps around by movement ability) and Michael pointed out that I've only had about 20 hours of lessons - "I dance that much in two days," he said.  That's a good way to gain perspective.  I'm proud of how far I've come in "two days."  In "two days" I learned the basic patterns of the waltz, foxtrot, jive, rumba, salsa, hustle, and I'm actually getting decent at the cha-cha.  In "two days" I learned half a routine that I'm going to perform in the spring.

This year I discovered a dance/performance scene in New York I had known almost nothing about.  I've watched some amazing women fight back against society's image of the ideal female form and proudly strut and shimmy and shake.

I embraced my true dance fan (dork?) and reached out to others.  I started this blog and electronically met some truly gifted, supremely funny, and always passionate dancers across the country and throughout the world.  I've exchanged ideas, discussed failures and triumphs big and small.

It's certainly been a year: I danced at Rakkasah and didn't fall off the stage, I met Tony and Melanie and didn't turn into a blubbering idiot, I was bestowed with a burlesque name (though I haven't yet used it!) and I braved the web.  I expected too much of myself and occasionally lived up to my own expectations.  I started to let my old ballet hang-ups go.  I remembered that dance is fun, and I had a hell of a lot of it.  I can't wait to see what new dance adventures next year will bring.